How Do I Find the Right Therapist?
The process of finding a therapist can be daunting. There are amazing resources to find listings of therapists in your area and with specific expertise, but that can still leave people weeding through dozens of names, profile photos, degrees, certifications, and bios just to find someone who is hopefully the “right fit”. And what about all those treatment approaches and acronyms like “EMDR,” “CBT,” “DBT,” “TMS,” etc.? If you find your brain starting to short circuit and the best course of action seems to be to avoid the whole process and put it off for another time, you are not alone.
So how do you find the “right” therapist for you or your child? It can be helpful to ask someone trusted such as your physician, a school counselor, a friend, or family member if they have someone they recommend or have heard good things about from a friend. Keep in mind, your friend or family member’s therapist may not feel comfortable working with you because they already work with someone you know, which could get weird or uncomfortable for all.
No referrals and you’re going it alone? No problem. Resources such as Psychology Today, WebMD, and even your insurance carrier have therapist directories with various filters to help you narrow down the field. If you are looking for something more specific like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBTI), or treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), for example, there are organizations for each of these (see links provided) that include directories of providers who have been specifically trained in these modalities. In general, you can filter by things like the issue you’re seeking help for, if you want to use insurance, the provider’s location, the provider’s gender, and much more.
Narrow your search to and handful of candidates and then start making phone calls. Most therapists offer a free initial phone consultation which is an opportunity for you to get a feel of who they are and how they work and for you to share what’s bringing you to therapy. Together you can decide if it feels like a potential fit and if you want to move forward to schedule an initial intake appointment.
There are so many approaches and techniques for therapy, various degrees and levels of therapist training, and what we in the field know and research has shown time and again is the relationship between the client and therapist is the most central piece of therapy. This is the part where you trust your gut. Do you feel a connection with this provider? Do you feel safe with them, safe enough to be open and honest whether it’s right away or it takes some time? Do you get a gut feeling about whether or not you can trust this person? Trust them not to judge you, trust them to keep your confidentiality, trust them listen and really understand what’s bringing you in and what you need? Some of this you can sense over the phone and sometimes it takes a session or two to know if it’s right.
And what happens if you meet with someone for a session or two and feel like they or their approach is not the right fit for you? It’s okay to share that with them and you do not need to continue to see them. Finding the right therapist can take time and some work up front that is well worth the investment.