Journal Challenge Week 7: Kids and Journaling
Journaling is not just for grown ups! Kids can enjoy and benefit from the practice and can start young. Even if they are not yet able to express themselves in writing, they can use art such as drawing and painting to share feelings, tell stories, and capture events in their lives.
I started journaling on my 7th birthday when I got a diary as a gift from my parents. I remember feeling drawn in by all the blank pages and the space to write things down, as well as privacy that book (and my parents) offered me. At the age of seven I was introducing my journal, like a trusted friend, to my life; I’d describe my friends and family and even wrote made up stories in it. As I got older I started processing more and more emotions like fear and confusion when our country went to war with Iraq, hurt and frustration as my friendships grew more complex with age, and even trauma when I witnessed a severe accident on a playground from two feet away. My journal became my safe place in adolescence as I was increasingly more self conscious about myself, my feelings, my interests, etc.; my journal never judged. Writing helped me grow increasingly self aware and introspective which have served me well throughout my life.
Kids who journal get to express their emotions in healthy ways. A journal can even be a safe place to experiment with saying things “aloud” that society silences. That raging verbal tantrum they need to have that will likely lead to them saying things they will regret or get them in trouble? Getting it out on paper can be a slower process but ultimately calming and possibly even resolving. Bubbling excitement that needs a place to reside? Yep, written word is a great place for that too.
How can you help a child start to journal? Help them pick out the right book for it and model using your own if you have one. Give them prompts if they need them. Examples include:
- “What are some things that happened today?”
- “What feelings are you having today?”
- “Write about something that bothers you.”
- “What do you want your life to be like in one year? In five years? Ten years?”
Parents: do not read your child’s journal. It can be very tempting for reasons such as wondering how cute their writing is to having safety concerns for a struggling child or teen who is not open with you. In case of the latter, consult with a mental health professional for guidance. We live in an age where children and teens have less privacy than previous generations. Parents have access to their kids’ digital communications with others, video cameras are abundant, teens share more personal things publicly on social media, parents can track their kids’ whereabouts at all times, etc. Let a journal be a private, trusted space only for them.
I have worked with a number of parents who have read their teens journals throughout the years. The breach of trust has often been very damaging for the parent-teen relationship. Parents have also been left confused by what their kids have written—remember, we’re talking about a safe space to write ANYTHING—and are often unsure of what to actually do with information they obtain. Finally, I’ve had some parents of generally cheerful teens who have been shocked and confused to find journals mostly filled with negative emotional experiences. Is their teen fooling them and suffering greatly inside? Or primarily using their journal as space to process adversity in their life and not thinking to write about the good stuff? It can be hard to know. I believe the costs of reading your child’s journal strongly outweigh any perceived benefits.
Week 7 Journal Prompt- You as a child: Who were you as a kid? What parts of you have remained steady throughout your life? What parts have changed? How did those changes come about? How do you feel about these changes?