Your Kid’s a Little Anxious? Mom and Dad, You Can Help!
Nail-biting, meltdowns, tummy aches, and nervousness—sound familiar? Or are you one of those lucky parents whose child can actually tell you when he or she is just plain anxious or stressed? Kids feel and express stress and anxiety in many different ways and in reaction to a variety of situations in their lives. The good news is that you, as parents, can help. The first step is to be aware of the warning signs that your child is dealing with stress or anxiety, especially if they are not just coming out and saying it. Here are a few:
Physical: Headaches, stomach aches, sleep problems, exacerbation of chronic illness, fatigue.
Behavioral: Avoidance, melt-downs, school refusal, reassurance seeking, unnecessary apologizing, perfectionism, nail biting, hair pulling, behavioral changes, school difficulties.
Emotional: Nervousness, panic, sadness, irritability, anger, frustration.
Have you identified someone you know? Here are a few strategies for helping your anxious child. Be sure to note that these are also good for adults-- if you happen to know any who need them. :)
1) Teach problem solving and coping. School, home and friends place regular demands on kids. Anxiety is a normal part of taking on challenges so resist the temptation to rescue your children from stressful situations. Instead, teach kids to solve their own problems with your help. It communicates that problems can be tackled and you believe in your child’s ability to do the job. You are laying the foundation for a “can-do” attitude that will serve your child well throughout his or her life.
2) Focus on healthy and balanced living. Nutrition, sleep, exercise, and quiet time are all important pieces of the stress management puzzle. Make sure your child is getting adequate nutrition and plenty of sleep with a regular bedtime. Exercise can be anything active and playful, just make sure it happens regularly.
3) Set limits and create routines. Be careful not to overschedule your child. There are amazing opportunities for sports, clubs, talent development, and socialization out there, but your child cannot do them all and feel like he is doing well at everything—including the important job of being a kid. Limit your child’s extracurricular activities and help him focus on fun and mastery of the activities he does choose. Provide a regular routine for your child at home so he knows what to expect day to day.
4) Create regular family time. Meals, traditions, and fun activities should be a regular part of your child’s life. They provide a break from stress during the day and increase the connections within the family. By strengthening the family bonds, your child will be more likely to come to you in times of stress or when he needs help or advice.
5) Be a positive role model for your child. Demonstrate healthy coping when you are faced with stress and convey a positive, “can-do” attitude. Be sure to set limits for yourself (it’s okay to say “no” when the committee chair asks you to sign on for another year!) and make time for your own self care. You will be in a better position to be available to your children when they need you and demonstrate healthy living habits that they can carry forward in their lives.